I scrolled across this & instantly got a sense of relief. I thought that I was the only one who felt like they had to completely cut someone off if or when you don’t associate with them anymore. I’ve always felt like if we aren’t for each other, we just aren’t for each other. I’m not going to sit around fake with you or try to be friendly just because. For the life of me I still don’t understand how some folks are able to befriend people that hurt them or people who have crossed them. We’ll talk about that in another post though. Anyway, there it is. It’s okay to block people, unfriend them, delete them from existence you know if it’s going to help you heal better and handle the situation better. If I’m trying to get over, you? I can’t be your freaking friend. Some folks can be so selfish when it comes to situations like this.
Meeting someone new is always one of the best feelings ever. Especially if it’s someone completely opposite from what you’re used to dealing with. Of course everyone around you always encourages you to date and mingle as much as possible. Yet, they don’t understand how hard that can be after you’ve been in a toxic relationship. Some of us are in toxic relationships and haven’t quite caught on to it and others are just sticking with it hoping for a change later on. I’m here to say if your relationship has become severely toxic there’s no way to reverse it. I’m one to give a million chances and attempt different ways to tackle a struggle but a toxic relationship is simply not worth the energy. Recovering from a bad relationship could take months and even years. It tends to follow you no matter how much you try to forget about it. That’s what makes it so hard to want to be with someone new. You began to wonder if you’re the right person for them and are you good enough because you weren’t good enough for your ex. You began bringing things from your past relationships into your new one and unless that person has patience and has an understanding heart you’ve pretty much screwed with their head and more than likely made them feel the need to back off. There’s always the thoughts of being hurt and destroyed again and again. Wondering if they will do you the same way your past lovers had. There may be nothing wrong at all with your new partner but just because you’ve been through the worst you’re going to make something wrong because it’s what you’re used to. You question just about everything they do or say because you just feel like everyone is the same after your ex, right? WRONG! Everyone is not the same. No matter how many times this phrase is used. We as humans have to let this mindset go. You’re going to meet someone and they’ll be everything you prayed for but you have to allow them and their energy to move through you so that they can show you that they are different. You have to be willing to accept this new found love and simply dismiss the old. You know for a fact the old love was not for you so why make it so hard for the new love to settle in because you’re scared. You have to trust yourself if you’re going to trust your new lover. Your new lover is already showing you patience and willingness to be there for you during this process so why make it harder. Learning to leave the past in the past is one of the hardest things to do. It is a must that seems impossible. You have to learn to be open with your lover about what you are experiencing even if it’s just one bit at a time. Being a damaged soul happens to the best of us and it’s not easy recovering from the tragedies. Having patience with yourself is also key. It’s not going to happen overnight. You must learn to love again and love the correct way. Avoiding all the negatives that you experienced in the past. Not everyone is out to hurt you. Not everyone is using you or abusing you. Not everyone will come for the moment and leave. Don’t lose someone who could be the best thing that ever happened to you because you can’t let go of what hurt and damaged you in the past. It’s okay to try again. We all feel like we will never love again and then someone comes along and proves us wrong. Be that person who proves someone wrong and be that person who is proven wrong. We all want love .. It’s what we were put here on earth to do. So let them love you if they are trying to love you. Embrace them with open arms as they are doing the same with you. Be strong and be confident that you have found love and it shall be.
” Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever… “