I scrolled across this & instantly got a sense of relief. I thought that I was the only one who felt like they had to completely cut someone off if or when you don’t associate with them anymore. I’ve always felt like if we aren’t for each other, we just aren’t for each other. I’m not going to sit around fake with you or try to be friendly just because. For the life of me I still don’t understand how some folks are able to befriend people that hurt them or people who have crossed them. We’ll talk about that in another post though. Anyway, there it is. It’s okay to block people, unfriend them, delete them from existence you know if it’s going to help you heal better and handle the situation better. If I’m trying to get over, you? I can’t be your freaking friend. Some folks can be so selfish when it comes to situations like this.

Stuck in Stupid

So, this is what it comes to.

You can’t accept it but it’s true.

You’ve been hurt, again.

An emotion that never ends.

How do you feel?

What do you feel?

Nothing at the moment, numb.

Cold as steel.

Why must you endure this pain

When you just want to love again.

You’ve been trying to hang on, just can’t let go.

Knowing if you hold on? You won’t grow.

You won’t heal. You won’t leave.

Something you cannot feel.

But in reality, you still feel the ill.

They love you. But how could they?

Everything has been a lie,

How could you believe what they say?

You love them, you love them not.

But how can you stop?

Choose you! Why not?!

Money and time.

I’ll take yours for mine.

That a problem? That’s fine.

We might not be intertwined & divine.

Like in my mind.

Maybe we come to one another as signs.

Again, that’s fine. I’m very well cool with it.

But how did I ever become so stuck in stupid.

-Sanaa Ali

A Poem Of Heartbreak

It Still Hurts…

When I think of you

I feel tears coming

When I think of you

I feel fears summoning

What used to be warm

It is now cold

Hard like stones

Fragile as the old

Like mind games

Memories are bittersweet

Who knows what I’ll get

A trick or a treat

Giving everything I’d had

Literally til there was nothing left

Feels as though I died

Years ago, my last breath

Like snowy skies in the darkness

Everything is blurry

Confusion is never the word

Anxiety it is and constant worry

You’ll think it’s over

Because they’ve gone in a spur

But here I lie like it’s okay

In reality, it still hurts

I wrote this after going through the toughest breakup after 5 years. I’ve learned that true enough it’s going to hurt & you’ll take some of those bad vibes with you. Not on purpose but because that’s what you’re used to. Just realize & understand that it’s supposed to hurt so you don’t put yourself through anything to experience that pain again .. You learn what not to go through & what not to settle for going forward.. So while you’re hurting understand that you’re also healing

Sanaa Ali