Being Your Peace

It’s so much easier said than done. I could ramble on about how important it is to be your own peace but it would go in one ear and right out the other. Truth is, it takes more than practice and more than dedication and most of all, patience. If you’re like me? You can give amazing advice and not take your own. It sounds so good coming from your own lips doesn’t it. Feels good knowing you’ve lifted someone else’s spirits but after a while you begin to feel drained. It’s like you’re constantly being everyone else’s healer and go-to but where’s everyone when you need it? Who can you run to when no one can really understand you like you do? There’s your answer.

Becoming Selfish

It’s hard for me to be selfish. I’m more than a selfless individual so I don’t know how to be selfish when it comes to anything. I’m always looking to save the day for anybody in need. Whether it’s a homeless man who hasn’t eaten all day. A friend or family who needs help physically or financially or just lending an ear for an hour or two. I’m always jumping the cliff for someone else. Then it’s my time to need help and can’t depend on anybody I’ve helped or those who tell you the classic line, ” call me if you need me ” .. it gets me every time. You lose faith in others so quickly behind this. You lose trust also and not even believe in those people anymore. They’re all flat out liars at this point. I’ve experienced this over and over again. No matter how many chances you give someone sometimes they just prove you right. Now you’ve recovered and they need you again. Ha! Do you still be that selfless individual or do you finally shut down and put you first. Will you put you first? How does this work?


Since I started trying to put myself first. I noticed the first thing I did was ignore folks. Is that good or bad? I tend to feel really bad when I ignore someone that needs me. If we’re being completely honest, I’d rather ignore you than tell you no. That’s BAD! I’ve learned that’s not good for me and my well being. I shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m not available to help someone with something. It doesn’t work like that. So if you can’t do it? JUST SAY THAT. They will get over it eventually. 

If saying no is too hard? Become completely unavailable. How do you do that you ask? Easy, just stop being available as you were before. Become more and more distant and the neediness tends to wear off. They’ll stop reaching out to you if they’re not getting what they need from you. Stay busy as much as you can and even if you aren’t, pretend to be. Nobody knows you’re pretending but you right ? 

You First

Once you get in the habit of saying no and becoming unavailable to the neediness of others you tend to give all the energy to what really matters and that’s yourself. Nobody should ever be more important than you and your health. If you aren’t in a peaceful state of mind how can you give off this energy to someone else without draining what’s left of you? The more of you that you give away the less of you there is unless you are always full of you. You have to be at your absolute best to give the others and the world pieces of you. I don’t care how nice you are and how many good deeds you do. Those things only affect you positively when you are in a positive place yourself. If you aren’t mentally and spiritually elevated in positivity everything you do will only affect you negatively. You can’t give to others when you don’t have anything to give because you aren’t giving from inside. You’re giving with expectation that it’ll return to you. You can’t be a friend to someone if you aren’t being that same friend to yourself first. You can’t be available to everyone in need when you are in need. Take care of yourself first and helping others will become nature and no longer be a burden ..

Welcoming Epiphanyish

Not many people understand the meaning of epiphany. The word itself has several definitions depending on it’s usage. Personally, I believe it is based on your own understanding and how you apply it to yourself and your life. We will dive into that perspective later on but first I want to inform you on the different meanings and origin of the word.

Origin and History

Epiphany originated around 1275-1325 from the Greek term ‘epiphaneia’ meaning “appearance” or “manifestation”. It is commonly used in reference to the manifestation of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles, known as a Christian holiday. This holiday is celebrated on January 6th and also known as the Baptism of Jesus, Three Kings Day, and Little Christmas. Like Easter and Christmas, it is one of the oldest and jubilant days of the Christian church. Wow! Did you know this? I sure didn’t. While the term has a spiritual meaning, it also has a very popular meaning that I am more familiar with.


A sudden flash of understanding or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by a simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. It is also known as an appearance or manifestation usually of a deity (god, goddess). Compliments of a few dictionaries for these somewhat understanding definitions. Now that we know the meanings of epiphany let’s discuss what you and I may believe it means and develop our own understanding.

Personal Understanding

I like to think of epiphany as “a glimpse, or sudden enlightenment of reality that prepares you for upcoming self transformation”. We all have moments where we may not fully understand why certain things happen to us or happen around us. Most of the time we blame these things on childhood trauma, young adult experiences, and lack of mental and physical support. We begin to feel that life just isn’t going good for us and probably never will which is a huge mistake. As humans we are prone to mistakes and making wrong turns in life. No matter how many times we try to avoid them they just continue happening and that wrong turn eventually turns in a long dark road. If you’re a deep thinker like myself you tend to think about everything bad when negative things happen. Sometimes those negative things are the genesis of your epiphany. The negative experiences seem to strike those deep and spur of the moment thoughts that could benefit you positively if thoroughly examined and initiated the correct way. A lot of the time we ignore our epiphanies. We do this by blocking it with negativity. Instead of thinking of them negatively try to look at these experiences with a positive mindset. When you’re being positive the good things start happening. What I mean by “being positive” is not allowing any negativity inside your mind no matter how it is presented to you. When you allow negativity into you it is then distributed from you. If it is distributed from you it will be given back to you. This is an epiphany I’ve experienced more than once. I’m sure you have before too. Everything we do while we are here on Earth starts as a thought first. “Our thoughts determine our lives..” said the great Elder Thaddeus. I believe this with all of my heart. The second you think and move in positivity is the very moment you experience this amazing feeling of having a self healing epiphany.

Our thoughts determine our lives. — Elder Thaddeus