It’s so much easier said than done. I could ramble on about how important it is to be your own peace but it would go in one ear and right out the other. Truth is, it takes more than practice and more than dedication and most of all, patience. If you’re like me? You can give amazing advice and not take your own. It sounds so good coming from your own lips doesn’t it. Feels good knowing you’ve lifted someone else’s spirits but after a while you begin to feel drained. It’s like you’re constantly being everyone else’s healer and go-to but where’s everyone when you need it? Who can you run to when no one can really understand you like you do? There’s your answer.
It’s hard for me to be selfish. I’m more than a selfless individual so I don’t know how to be selfish when it comes to anything. I’m always looking to save the day for anybody in need. Whether it’s a homeless man who hasn’t eaten all day. A friend or family who needs help physically or financially or just lending an ear for an hour or two. I’m always jumping the cliff for someone else. Then it’s my time to need help and can’t depend on anybody I’ve helped or those who tell you the classic line, ” call me if you need me ” .. it gets me every time. You lose faith in others so quickly behind this. You lose trust also and not even believe in those people anymore. They’re all flat out liars at this point. I’ve experienced this over and over again. No matter how many chances you give someone sometimes they just prove you right. Now you’ve recovered and they need you again. Ha! Do you still be that selfless individual or do you finally shut down and put you first. Will you put you first? How does this work?
Since I started trying to put myself first. I noticed the first thing I did was ignore folks. Is that good or bad? I tend to feel really bad when I ignore someone that needs me. If we’re being completely honest, I’d rather ignore you than tell you no. That’s BAD! I’ve learned that’s not good for me and my well being. I shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m not available to help someone with something. It doesn’t work like that. So if you can’t do it? JUST SAY THAT. They will get over it eventually.
If saying no is too hard? Become completely unavailable. How do you do that you ask? Easy, just stop being available as you were before. Become more and more distant and the neediness tends to wear off. They’ll stop reaching out to you if they’re not getting what they need from you. Stay busy as much as you can and even if you aren’t, pretend to be. Nobody knows you’re pretending but you right ?
Once you get in the habit of saying no and becoming unavailable to the neediness of others you tend to give all the energy to what really matters and that’s yourself. Nobody should ever be more important than you and your health. If you aren’t in a peaceful state of mind how can you give off this energy to someone else without draining what’s left of you? The more of you that you give away the less of you there is unless you are always full of you. You have to be at your absolute best to give the others and the world pieces of you. I don’t care how nice you are and how many good deeds you do. Those things only affect you positively when you are in a positive place yourself. If you aren’t mentally and spiritually elevated in positivity everything you do will only affect you negatively. You can’t give to others when you don’t have anything to give because you aren’t giving from inside. You’re giving with expectation that it’ll return to you. You can’t be a friend to someone if you aren’t being that same friend to yourself first. You can’t be available to everyone in need when you are in need. Take care of yourself first and helping others will become nature and no longer be a burden ..